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有个性开朗搞笑的签名精选 搞笑个性签名女生霸气短一点

更新时间:2017-06-02 作者:SS 发表评论

琴棋书画不会,洗衣做饭嫌累,我想我更适合找个保姆

青春真的很单薄,什么都很轻,风一吹,我们就走散了。

每一天都忙死了,要不停地把氧气转化成二氧化碳。

都什么年代了一点流氓意识都没有

真想立马把我37码的鞋,bia到你42码的脸上。

念了十几年书,想起来还是幼儿园比较好混。

我的钱包就像个洋葱,每次打开都叫我泪流满面。

本人在地狱,若要找我,请进地狱

牛逼的人不是有多少后台,而是能做多少人的后台。

我有各种口味的辣条,你要是想跟我做朋友现在还来得及。

路漫漫其修远兮,不如我们去打的。

狼行天下,吃肉;狗行天下,吃屎。

我顶多就是雷锋的传人,你们就叫我雷人吧!

勇于认错,坚决不改。

我是个哑巴,平时说话都是伪装的。

真的,有很多事,是要发一点疯才能做出来的。

有个性开朗搞笑的签名精选_搞笑个性签名女生霸气短一点

上帝是公平的,给了你一张丑的脸,一定会再给你一个没钱的家。

经常在提醒自己必须要成熟一点,但抢我零食的人还是必须杀掉!

考历史的时候,我莫名的有一种沉重感,因为我就要改变历史了。

说起自己的梦想时双眼发亮,我想成为这样的人。

单身的男的叫单身狗,单身的女的叫狗不理。

先定个小目标,比方说今年先嫁张继科。

蚊子你有手有脚的,为什么不找份工作正正当当地生活。

现在你补作业时流的泪,就是你浪的时候脑子进的水。

做人一定要昂首挺胸,这样别人才看不见你的双下巴。

每次理发都像是一次离别,和好不容易看顺眼了的自己说拜拜。

你脸那么大,一定是这个世界上最给我面子的人。

如果觉得孤单就转圈吧,一圈,两圈,三圈……你会发现全世界都在围着你转。~

觉得自己特别迷人的时候一定要拍下来,让照片给你清醒清醒。

趁好看的时候多照照镜子,毕竟这种错觉不是每天都有的。╭╯

世上丑陋的人事看多了,就得马上照照镜子。

从来没人对我表白过,这说明一个问题:我一直被人暗恋着。じ′

抱着滚烫的正在充电的手机,并且把生死置之度外,这是我人生中少有的英勇时分。

讨厌上学有一个很重要的原因:就是不能愉快的拉屎!

不戴套那种感觉真好,只是不安全。我的上一个手机就是这么摔坏的!

我还是很喜欢你,像风油精和辣条,声声不息。

不交几个人渣怎知货比三家

尽管我数学不好,但我仍会在作业上首先写上我霸气潇洒的“解”。

你们整天叫我滚,是想让我滚到你怀里,然后对我图谋不轨?不行,我不同意!

“只要你不卸妆,我什么都答应你。”

我能想到最浪漫的事,就是看你慢慢变老而我依旧帅气逼人。

减肥,就是要那种即使牺牲掉奶子,也要做个瘦子的觉悟。

每次我看你吃猪肉都万分感慨;本是同根生,相煎何太急。

羡慕那些躺下去就能睡着的,我躺下去要花两个小时换两百个姿势才能入睡。

每天过着猪八戒的生活,却想要悟空的身材。

为什么要谈恋爱?是手机不好玩?还是风油精不好用?

昨天我的包被抢了,我很伤心,为了这件事我哭了这一个晚上,我实在想不通,我到底哪里不如我的包。

像我这样放个屁都会吓一跳的人,你们怎么舍得对我凶巴巴啊。

一直坚信自己会瘦的,现在只是胖着玩玩而已。可惜玩着玩着就玩嗨了…

你说一个月打三次胎会不会有事啊?我很害怕!我这个月都是第三次去打胎了。唉!我的自行车怎么老是没气。

数学证明题无非两种,一种是“卧槽这还用证明”,另一种是“卧槽这也能证明”。

养的小仓鼠生病了,不过没关系,家里有老鼠药,希望它吃过以后能好起来。

女人减不了的肥,男人戒不了的色。

没有那公主的命,就别得那公主的病。

辉煌的时刻谁都有,别拿一刻当永久!

我把你当主旋律 你凭什么把我当插曲。

既然走不进你的眼 就让你离开我的心。

不是姐不适合你,是姐根本看不上你。

我不是架钢琴!请停止乱弹我的感情!

野兽难温情 野猫易懒惰。

酷到六亲不认柔到普渡众生。

孤独久了 感觉自己都有了仙气。

我很忙 忙着可爱 忙着长大。

我是暴烈的屠夫也是温顺的宠物。

别给我撩面子 面子比你重要。

班里连个能让我起色心的都没有。

没有被杀的觉悟 就没有杀戮的资格。

你凭什么说我矮,大家不都一米多。你厉害,你两米一个给我看试试。

你不用好奇 我没有故事也不想认识你。

有朝一日剑在手,杀尽天下负心狗!

有个性开朗搞笑的签名精选_搞笑个性签名女生霸气短一点

别把我不当回事也别太把你当回事。

当我咆哮时,整个世界都要承受我的怒火!

別嫌弃我幼稚 我对不熟的人才会用脑子。

我的高贵单身,只为等和你谈恋爱到结婚。

像我这种人,你除了宠着也没有其他办法。

在知识的海洋里 我竟然只是条淡水鱼。

土豆和马铃薯番茄和西红柿小仙女和我。

跟我表白就六个字 “你的 理科 我教”

你是自由风都无法圈养 我却妄想撩你上床。

我们从不抄作业,我们只是答案的搬运工。

好说话但别太善良 心狠点但别不留余地。

从前喜欢热闹 之后讨厌人群 滥交不如独往。

没有什么坎是过不去的 何况我的腿还那么长。

我不关心你的后来 没我的故事 能有多精彩。

需要王子拯救的是公主,自己拯救世界的是女王。

话用嘴讲人用眼看套路无处不在心眼同样精彩。

长的漂亮的才能叫吃货, 长得丑的只能叫饭桶。

上班时间勿扰,下班时间尽情骚扰。

别把我看透,那样你会对我失去所有兴趣。

装逼装好了那是牛逼,没装好那是傻逼。

有个性开朗搞笑的签名精选_搞笑个性签名女生霸气短一点

我不是看不起你,而是压根就懒得理你。

我的青春不需要掌声与喝彩,我自已就是女王。

狗和狗见面不是吻就是舔 人和人见面不是骗就是演。

干嘛谈恋爱 是酒不好喝 烟不好抽 还是手机不好玩。

阿弥陀佛!数学你不要如此执迷不悟,待贫僧来萌化你。

我血腥吗我阴暗吗我恶毒吗我费尽脑子用生命整死你了吗?

我要给你一个家,对别人骄傲坏笑,只对你撒娇放电要抱抱。

从此以后保持低调和神秘 对自己的美丽与智慧只字不提。

我敢爱有什么不敢当 有丢脸的胆量 才有脸面再爱一场。

要个高傲的要死的学霸同桌,不如要个啥练习都有答案的学渣。

我的东西 从来不喜欢和别人分享 因为我想赢所以你必须输。

珍惜初次见面,毕竟以后你都不会看到这么安静害羞高冷的我。

我确实想你,也确实想睡你,但我更想每天睡醒后还有你。

我的东西 从来不喜欢和别人分享 因为我想赢所以你必须输。

假如生活欺骗了你,不要悲伤不要心急,它明天还会继续欺骗你。

请让我沉溺在高三的深海里 一年上岸后可以看到蓝天阳光还有你。

枯藤老树昏鸦 空调WiFi西瓜 葛优同款沙发 夕阳西下 我就搁那一趴。

我想养一只猫 养一只狗 再养一个你 无聊就逗逗猫 虐虐狗 再睡睡你。

开学第一天老师就说:“要认真学习。” 我听到认真就果断地说:“认真就你输了”

不要以为你自己很了不起,在我眼里你压根什么都不是。

男人请记住:我只是个平凡的女人,感情也只贪个安稳。

曾经你是我生命中的氧气,如今你也只配当二氧化碳了。

女人丶可以没身材,可以没脸蛋。但丶绝不可以没眼光。

如果上天再给我一次和你相逢的机会,我一定扭头就走。

别跟我提曾经,就是不想回到曾经所以才将他彻底忘记。

请记住我是一个高冷的人请不要被我时常的疯癫所迷惑。

你要给我点颜色看看,我就让你知道花儿为什么这样红。

我绝不会让任何人,用任何方法,抢走任何属于我的东西。

姐姐的爱从来只给值得的人,其他人请你们滚到一边别碍眼。

如果分手是一个错误,我想就这样一直错下去,因为你不值得我爱。。。

突然好想念我的男朋友不知道他现在怎么样了吃没吃饭休没休息家住哪里今年多大了。

Not too tired to cook fancies of men of letters, and I think I better find a nanny

It is really very thin, what is light, the wind blows, we lost.

Every day is busy, and the oxygen is constantly converted into carbon dioxide.

What age, a little rogue consciousness all have no?

I'd like to have my 37 size shoes straight, BIA, to your 42 yard face.

Read more than ten years of books, or kindergarten is better to mix.

My purse is like an onion. Every time it opens, it makes me cry.

I'm in hell, if you're looking for me, please come to hell

The ox man is not the background, but how many people can make the backstage.

I have all kinds of spicy dishes. If you want to be friends with me, you can still have time.

A long way to go, why don't we go to play.

Wolves go all over the world and eat meat; dogs do all the world and eat shit.

I'm Lei Feng's successor at most. You can call me ray!

Dare to admit your mistakes and resolutely refuse to change them.

I am a mute, usually speaking in disguise.

Really, there are so many things to do with a little crazy.

God is fair, give you an ugly face, will give you a no money home.

I often remind myself that I have to be a little mature, but I still have to kill people who grab my snacks!

When I was taking history, I felt a sense of heaviness because I was about to change history.

When I talk about my dreams, my eyes are shining. I want to be such a person.

A single man called a single dog, woman called Goubuli single.

Set a small goal first, for example, marry Zhang Jike first this year.

Mosquitoes, you have hands and feet, why don't you find a job and live right now?.

Now, the tears you shed during your homework are the water in your head when you surf.

A man must go with head high and chest out so that others do not see, see your double chin.

Every time a haircut is like a parting, and not easy to see the pleasing to the eye, say goodbye.

You have such a big face, you must be the most proud person in the world.

If you feel lonely, turn around, circle, two laps, three laps...... You'll find the whole world is around you. ~

When you find yourself particularly attractive, be sure to take pictures and let the pictures sober you up.

While the good time and look in the mirror, after all, this illusion is not every day. Like this

The ugly personnel to see more, you have to look in the mirror.

No one has ever spoken to me, which shows one thing: I've been secretly loved. '

With hot charging the mobile phone, and to disregard life and death, this is a rare heroic time in my life.

One of the most important reasons why you hate going to school is that you can't take a pleasant shit!

It feels good without wearing a jacket, but it's just not safe. My last cell phone was broken like this!

I still love you, like of hot strip, the sound of endless.

Don't know how to make some scumbag goods more than three

Although I am not good at math, I will write my "clever" first on my homework".

The day you call me, I want to roll into your arms, then I can not, I do not agree with the conspiracy?!

As long as you do not remove makeup, I promise you anything."

The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old, and I'm still handsome and threatening.

That is to lose weight, even if the sacrifice of milk, but also to be a man of consciousness.

Every time I see you eat pork are very regrets; this is the same root, fratricidal.

Envious of those lying down to sleep, I lie down to spend two hours in two hundred positions to sleep.

Every day I live the life of pig, but I want the figure of wukong.

Why should we talk about love? Is not fun or mobile phone? Fengyoujing good use?

Yesterday, I was robbed of my bag. I was very sad. I cried for the whole night. I really couldn't figure out where I was as good as my bag.

I like this fart will scare people, how can you for me and my ah.

Always believe that you will thin, and now just fat play. It's a pity to play and play...

You say three times a month to play tire will be fine? I am afraid! I this month is third times to abort. Oh, how come my bicycle gets angry all the time?.

There are only two kinds of mathematical proof problems. One is "lie trough", which is used as proof, and the other is "lying trough", which can also be proved".

The little hamster is ill, but it doesn't matter. There are some rat medicine in the house. I hope it will be better after eating.

Women can not reduce fat, men can not quit the color.

Without the princess's life, do not get the princess's disease.

Brilliant moment, everyone has, do not take a moment when permanent!

When I take you as the theme, what do you think of me as an episode?.

Since you can't go, your eyes let you out of my heart.

Not sister is not suitable for you, sister is not at all see you.

I'm not a piano! Stop playing with my feelings!

Wild beasts are hard to tender, but wild cats are lazy.

No one to cool soft to salvation.

Lonely for a long time, I feel I have fairy gas.

I'm busy, busy, cute, busy growing up.

I am a butcher is docile pets.

Don't give up my face face is more important than you.

The class can even let me have no center.

Without killing consciousness, there is no killing qualification.

Why do you say I'm short, everybody is not more than one meter?. You are fierce, you two meters one, let me see, try.

You don't have to be curious. I don't have a story and I don't want to know you.

Some day in the future sword in hand, kill all the ungrateful dog!

Don't take me out of my way and take you too seriously.

When I roar, the whole world

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